Getting old does not seem to be much fun, especially if listening to grumpy old women is anything to go by, writes Andy Bloss.
At least getting into your dotage means one thing though. You can have a jolly good moan.
And that is exactly what Jenny Eclair, Susie Blake and Kate Robbins will be doing in their new Grumpy Old Women tour.
The new show, Fifty Shades of Beige, is jam packed with new material.
It includes the joy of large pants, a free nagging master class, the art of grumpy grooming, beards for women, anger management workshop, middle aged drinking, voluntary euthanasia v retirement and how to customise an unwanted pole dancing kit.
The show is written by Perrier Award winning comedian Jenny Eclair and Judith Holder and follows on from the original stage version of Grumpy Old Women Live which completed four sell out UK tours.
Eclair says: “Nobody knows whose idea it was to do a live Grumpy show, and we will definitely end up in court over it.
“But we had a bit of a hit on our hands, and it changed my life a bit. It's been translated into Iceland and Finnish, and it's been to Australia.
“This is the third one, and not a single line has been re-used, so if you've been to a Grumpy tour before, you'll see all new material.
“It's two hours with an interval, and it's directed by the brilliant Owen Lewis, who won an Olivier for Eric and Ernie.”
She adds: “In terms of my favourite bits of the show, we've got a Day of a Grumpy Old Woman divided into a pie chart, which includes: grooming, worrying, nagging, and watching television.
“And I like our dancing scene. I'm the world's worst dancer but Susie and Kate can dance. I do a pro-HRT rant, too, and we talk about stupid magazines.
And for those who have not been to a grumpy show before, it is well worth a trip according to Eclair.
She says: “It's a big, theatrical experience. It's about the fact we're all in this leaky old boat of life together, and we may as well help each other out.
“When you're younger, you're still competing against each other, but as you get older, that disappears and your friendships become incredibly strong.
“If you're in your 50s or 60s, it's for you. But I've seen young women there and they're thinking, 'That's you!' about their mum or granny. Or if you're older, you've been through it.
“It's not made for men, but they do enjoy it. It's a bit like being a Peeping Tom for them. They get to see what it's really like for us.”
Grumpy Old Women, Fairfield Halls, Park Lane, May 22, 8pm, £20, call 02086889291 or visit www.Fairfield.co.uk.