Thomas Was Alone has a slightly different development cycle to the average game.

Being an indie game one can understand it may not be a complex games and visuals may take a hit, but when you’re told the game was created over a weekend because the creator was bored at home and feeling a little lonely alarm bells start ringing.

Character design is almost completely absent. If you’ve ever seen or heard of the video game Pong, you’ve seen the characters in this game already.

You take the role of Thomas who is a red rectangle who jumps around on black squares.

He has a band of friends who are various other type of quadrilateral, but can jump slightly different distances. One is waterproof and another walks on the ceiling.

Having seen how this game was being publicised I took immediate interest. The concept of simplicity covering up a core of deep gameplay is something to admire when it is executed flawlessly.

Unfortunately, Thomas Was Alone falls horribly short. It’s clear that the game wishes to be Portal and the small bits of monologue become grating after the first couple of levels. The rectangles are never going to be as memorable as the Companion Cube in Portal, There’s a huge attempt at trying to make the player grow an attachment to the characters, but unless the player thrives off insecurity, prejudice and constant moaning it is pretty hard to care about them, especially when they don’t like each other based on appearance.

Even more confusing is the way they are replaced halfway through with another bunch of characters with even less personality.

Even by the end of the game the point of the new characters being introduced seems to have no reason.

The awful music will have you muting your Vita or TV immediately.

The game tries to parody the fact it is a video game, poking fun at its terrible visuals, which just made me think why did I have to deal with terrible writing, awful visuals and barely passable gameplay.

Your Local Guardian: Thomas Was Alone

Gameplay consists of the most simplistic platforming I’ve seen in years and the mundane levels become more and more repetitive.

The difficulty curve is absent - just when it looks like the game may become a little more challenging you are back to levels where you just have to jump one or two low walls.

The final 10 levels are even easier then some of the early levels in the game.

There is no challenge, as no puzzle in this game feels anything more than going through the motions.

Deciding to have a bit of fun with some of the game mechanics I found myself stuck and unable to progress, being forced to restart the level.

Strangely though you will die quite a few times, I was somewhat perplexed at this. Then it dawned on me, I was rushing because I needed to see if the game was going to get any better.

Your Local Guardian: Thomas Was Alone

Some part of me wanted to believe that this game had to offer something. My hopes were completely crushed when the end credits rolled, in around three hours.

The in-game monologues just show a high level of intolerance and insecurity. One of the characters talks about how they’d rather be killed than be alone and another talks about how he’s surprised another person can act so normal when he is so different.

I don’t see how that fits in with a game where there is no real narrative. It seems to send out a negative message.

Thomas Was Alone tries to recreate the magic of games such as Shift Extend, which started out as a flash game and went on to consoles.

If you are looking to buy a platformer, given the surprisingly high price, the short experience, lack of production values and the audacity to release DLC at the title’s launch, it’s hard to recommend this to anyone.

There simply are much better options including the highly acclaimed Sound Shapes, Tales from Space: Mutant Blob Attacks, Knytt Underground and Guacamelee.

The game has no redeemable features that I can see and honestly will make you feel like you’ve wasted time and money.

Thomas Was Alone has earned some points due to the absence of any game-breaking glitches that can’t be solved by restarting the level.

Verdict: 3 out of 10

PS Vita version tested - also available on PS3, Mac and PC