Is looking after your elderly loved one a daily struggle?

With women usually taking the lead in caring for older relatives, Bupa research has revealed many are pushing themselves to breaking point. Almost two-thirds of women admit to putting off thinking about a care home as they feel it is ‘their duty’ to look after their family, yet one-in-three say that caring for a loved one has put their relationship with the relative under strain and more than a third say it has affected their health.

We all hope our loved ones can live independently and enjoy retirement. But what happens when the health problems of old age affect their – and our own – quality of life? 

We may not like to think about it, but as they get older many people are likely to need care at some point. Care doesn’t have to start with a care home. There are different types of help: from having a care worker visiting for as little as an hour every day, to short stays in care homes to help your relative rest, or recover following an operation as well as permanent residence. 

Planning for a relative’s later life can be complex and emotional. It is difficult to work out what kind of assistance they need and even harder to decide they can no longer live alone.

Start by seeking guidance from your relative’s GP. Then ask your local authority for a care needs assessment to clarify what help is needed and provide an idea of the financial assistance they are entitled to.

If it is clear a care home is the best option, the next step is finding the right one. Moving to a home may seem like a big step, but as well as providing a safe, comfortable place to live.

Modern care homes aim to help people enjoy more independent and fulfilling lives, creating a welcoming atmosphere in which residents enjoy activities, go on outings and make friends with other residents. They also recognise that residents have individual requirements and provide a range of services to meet these needs.

To start with, check if the home offers the kind of care that your family needs. Then consider the home’s location and what it’s like to live there. How will your relative be looked after and how much will it cost? As you look around the home, how does the staff interact with the residents?  

Bupa runs an Elderly Care Support Line for people trying to find their way through the care system. It offers free advice seven days a week on the complex issue of elderly care – from understanding your finance options through to help with choosing the type of care that’s right for you and your family. 

You do not need to be a Bupa customer to access the support line, which can be reached on 0330 134 6642. Bupa also offers a range of guides on elderly care topics, click here to find out more. 

Inside View

Tadworth Grove Residential and Nursing Home, in The Avenue, Tadworth, is a purpose-built home specialising in residential, dementia and nursing care. The home also offers short stays and palliative care. The 64-room home is made up of two self-contained houses, equipped with modern conveniences, en-suite bedrooms and quality furnishings. Manager Matt Betts says: "Interests and abilities are considered when devising the home’s activities programme, with popular pursuits including exercise programmes and gardening."

A varied and seasonal menu is provided every day, tailored to diet and individual preferences. Residents can enjoy meals in dining areas or in their own rooms.

What residents say:

‘I am happy here, the staff support me with my independence.’

‘I’m very happy here, it suits me down to the ground.’ 

Quotes based on real testimonials retrieved from CQC Inspection report, accessed December 2014. 

For more information about Bupa Care Homes click here