Sex with Sportacus: One mum's no nonsense guide to parenting (From Croydon Guardian)

Sex with Sportacus: One mum's no nonsense guide to parenting

2:34pm Wednesday 24th September 2008

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A mum-of-two fed up with child-rearing guides written by "smug" parents has published her own, more realistic, manual on the internet.

Natasha Desborough, 34, claims her Parental Advisory Manual “sticks two fingers up to those bossy and officious parental advice books that make mums and dads feel completely inadequate”.

“I spoke to other woman and some of the fantasies they came out with were hilarious.”

Natasha Desborough

The Croydon-based broadcaster added: “These books are written by smug perfect parents, callous childless nannies and worst of all – celebrity mothers.”

Her advice is already a big hit on her BBC weekend breakfast show and she is hoping the website will help thousands of parents across the country.

She said: “Forget baby sleep training techniques and methods of discipline, the Parental Advisory Manual addresses the overlooked parenting issues Gina Ford forgot about.

“The manual gives advice and support on the important issues such as alternative swear words to use in front of the kids, substitute penis names, the advantages of using a Parkinson’s disease sufferer to get your baby to sleep and why CBeebies is great for kids but dangerous for adults.”

Dangerous indeed as she bares all about sex fantasies of mums watching the children’s channel, along with plenty of other real life testimonies from parents.

Natasha said: “When you give birth your hormones are all over the place, which is why these programmes are dangerous.

“They are mindless and so your mind wanders and before you know it Sportacus is naked in your living room.

“I spoke to other woman and some of the fantasies they came out with were hilarious.”

Top 10 CBeebies sex fantasy objects

• Chris Corcoran, presenter of Doodle-Do
•Big Cook Little Cook
•Sportacus from Lazy Town
•Mr Tumble
•Captain DJ from Space Pirates
•The Wiggles
•CBeebies presenter ‘Sid’
•Archie from Balamory
•Boogie Pete from Boogie Beebies
•Roma from the Hoobs

She said the idea came when her first child, now aged three, began talking and she realised how much she had been swearing up to that point.

She continued: “I went for a meal with some other mums and it was like we had Tourette’s – there was all this pent-up swearing.

“I asked what they did and they told me all these different alternatives.”

From that meeting she started surveying parents about a range of issues, and the manual was born.

Natasha, who lives in Kenley, is now hoping the manual will be picked up by a publisher and turned into a book.

Her parenting advice can be found at .

parentaladvisorymanual.co.uk

• Who is your number one CBeebies sex fantasy object? Have your say using the comment feature below.

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