Croydon MP Andrew Pelling speaks out (From Croydon Guardian)

Croydon MP Andrew Pelling speaks out

6:00am Wednesday 22nd October 2008

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Andrew Pelling wants to set the record straight, writes Peter Truman.

The man who was arrested over an assault allegation involving his second wife Lucy in September 18, 2007 and who was subsequently unceremoniously dropped by the Conservative party has had to bite his tongue until now.

But at last, as he gets back into full time work as the MP for Croydon Central, he is able to lift the lid on the turbulent 12 months that almost ruined his political career, tore his family apart and left him shattered. He has promised to be full and frank.

When we meet at the Houses of Parliament he is relaxed. He is about to exorcise his demons and is clearly looking forward to getting things off his chest. We sit down together in a small Westminster room, and I put to the test his promise of openness.

Andrew Pelling sent a letter to the Croydon Guardian last week on the subject of domestic abuse. In it he was at pains to point out "we should also not forget that men are victims of domestic violence". Has he been a victim of domestic abuse?

The question is clearly a sensitive one, and he takes a deep, steadying breath before answering: "I would not have written that letter if it had not been for what I have learnt from my constituents and my own personal experience.

"It is very tempting in terms of making my case to talk in detail.”

But he will not be pushed further on the subject and reveal the identity of the alleged abuser.

And so I turn to his own allegation that in Autumn 2006 he was assaulted outside the family courts during his divorce hearing.

"I think what is important on the assault is that emotionally it was a real downer. You feel down when it is someone close to you in terms of how you feel."

Just how close that person is, again, remains closely guarded despite repeated questioning.

"I am determined to do all that is necessary to clear my name.

Andrew begins to describe just how bad his depression became after being accused of his assaulting his second wife Lucy in September last year. The accusation coincided with Lucy telling him she was carrying his child.

He talks of a "slough of despond" and an "overwhelming despair". The case sparked a media frenzy.

"Winston Churchill said when depression hit him it was like being haunted by a black dog. Once depression gets a grip, it is difficult to dislodge. Sleep was elusive, food was unappetising, my day began too late to match the normal pattern of work, I had huge swings both down and up in my weight.

"In my case depression was brought on by the very awful and unfair publicity that undercut my ability to continue in my career path and to meet my family obligations. I felt imprisoned mentally and physically by the baying pack of journalists outside my home banging on the door time and time again. I felt condemned despite the fact that no charges were brought.

"Even the Tory Party in withdrawing the Whip from me seemed to be in panic flight from the principle of "innocent until proven guilty", possibly because the leadership thought an election was about to be called. I am even now trying my best to regain my previous good reputation.

"You do feel helpless in dealing with the power of the national newspapers which really write whatever suits. It was all a Salem-like fury of press condemnation where arguing one's innocence was just a hopeless task.

"I found the mocking in a national newspaper of my mother's ashes which are in my home very hurtful "Legally I was greatly restricted in speaking out after the arrest and with the national press now intent on its destructive course even after no charges were brought I retreated into the house.

"I was staying the majority of time at home - the unfortunate pleasures of retreating to my bed was such that that was the main place to be.

"I think that when you're suffering from mental health [problems] that to some extent you begin to celebrate reclusivity so that it almost becomes self-enforcing."

The sequence of events left him despairing and he turned to drugs to help ease the pain.

He describes his addiction to the sleeping pill Zopiclone, which he likens to the eponymous ring from JR Tolkein's books, allowing him to "disappear" when he took them.

"It is easy to become dependent on these drugs. I was absolutely addicted to them. If I was on them now I would be thinking how soon can I get home and take them. It is an awful dependency but people suffering love to take them, and they take more as after a while the effect begins to fade."

During this time, Andrew developed the eating disorder bulimia, and his weight fluctuated as he struggled with the weight gaining side effects of the pills he was on to get him through his depression.

Read more from our exclusive interview:

• Andrew Pelling talks about his political future.
• The Croydon Central MP reveals he's hampered by debt.
• The MP talks about missing his daughter's childhood.

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