It is the ultimate retreat for harassed dads.
This pirate-themed back garden man-cave comes complete with waterfall, bar area, lounge, and dance floor has its own drawbridge which can be pulled up to cut off the rigours of real life.
You can even spy on the mood of the house from a crow's nest to see when it safe to return home.
The quirky Selsdon dad who built this pirate retreat is to star in a new Aviva advert.
Keith Brown built the four storey drinking hut as a place to "escape and enjoy a bit of peace and quiet" from a household full of women.
The retired shop manager, who lives with his wife and two daughters, decorated the hut with items bought in Hawaii and on cruises around the Caribbean.
The Retreat, which is also known as his "man-cave," initially started out as a few materials found in builder's skips or donated to him by neighbours.
But 20 years later the ship shaped hut is now complete with a moat and a pair of working canons which Mr Brown designed, cast and welded himself.
The 63-year-old's cave includes a Caribbean drinking hut complete with a crow's nest bar which is only accessible via a step ladder.
There is also a bridge which carries you over the indoor waterfall and into a seated area.
Walk through the seated area and you come to the dance floor, which boasts laser lights, smoke generators and a built in sound system.
Mr Brown said: "When you have a wife and two daughters it's very attractive but they can strip paint with their tongues from 20 feet away.
If there is too much arguing going on I just raise the drawbridge, sit in the Caribbean drinking hut and listen to music.
"We get friends who invite themselves over for a pirate night, we get the rum punch running and a great time is had by all."
The hut has double glazed windows making it the perfect place to entertain guests away from the main house.
His wife Carol, said: "I've got used to it, it is just part of the house now.
"It is really great and when you are up there you don't think you are in the back garden, you could be anywhere.
"It really does take shape at night with the atmosphere and lights, you get a real good time up there.
"It's been added to, modified and changed completely to when he first started, I admire Keith's enthusiasm, dedication and commitment to it."
Mr Brown added: "The Retreat is enormous fun, everyone should have a personal space regardless of whether you are male or female.
"In some countries they have man or woman caves and in other places they have a den. Personal spaces should be encouraged."
Mr Brown is one of the real people featured in Aviva’s latest home insurance campaign showing on UKTV’s Home channel.
If you have done something extraordinary and wonderful to your own home, you can share it with Aviva from April 26. Visit Facebook and search for Aviva Extraordinary Homes for a chance to win a £5,000 prize.