I’m glad we played twice this weekend, because there wasn’t really much to say about the Bournemouth game.

Delaney almost scored a header. Ritchie almost scored a header. There was a bit of handbags between Zaha and Arter and nothing much else really happened.

At least that’s all I remember anyway, as I was trying to watch the game six beers deep, on a blurry stream whilst simultaneously trying to avoid questions from extended family about how university is going and why I haven’t settled down with a wife and kids yet.

So I hoped that the Swansea game would be a bit more exciting, with loads of goals and chances to talk about.

Fabianski saved from Bamford. Hennessey saved from Sigurdsson. There was a bit of handbags between Cabaye and Cork and nothing much else really happened.

Two 0-0 draws against Bournemouth and Swansea might seem disappointing objectively based on how well we’ve been doing so far this season, but that’s still two clean sheets against sides with a reputation for playing pretty football and attacking strongly.

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Whilst it would have been preferable to win these games, we need to remember that we’re massively overachieving this season and we’re not going to win every week, and as much fun as it is being in and around the European places, another top ten finish would still be fantastic considering how competitive the league is.

There’s no reason why we can’t maintain our going into the New Year, but as a fan base we need to beware of complacency.

It’s difficult to tell whether teams have started playing more defensively against us to make them difficult to break down, or if our strikers are just completely useless.

Although Campbell, Chamakh and Bamford didn’t offer much over the two games, we can’t blame the lack of goals entirely on them, as the midfield haven’t exactly been providing them with countless opportunities.

Bamford should probably have buried his chance but he didn’t have much time to think about it, opting for power rather than placement.

I’ve always defended Bamford and hoped he’d eventually start scoring and prove everyone wrong, but it’s become clear that he obviously thinks he’s a lot better than he is and it’s for the best that he’s gone.

You can blame Pardew for not playing you all you like, but when it comes down to it Patrick, if all of our strikers are injured and out of form and you’re still barely even making the bench, you’ve got nobody to blame but yourself.

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You’re going to fit in perfectly back at Chelsea.

Like most people, every year when I blow out the candles on my birthday cake I make a wish.

The fact that I’m not captain of England and Leonardo Di Caprio isn’t my best friend means these wishes rarely ever come true, however I’m still holding out hope that a Chelsea relegation might yet become a reality.

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It’s hard to tell what sort of form they’re in after a 0-0 at Old Trafford because despite United’s bad press lately, they’ve still got a decent defence and a very good goalkeeper so there’s no shame in not scoring against them.

Watching Chelsea play United on Monday was a bit like Andy Johnson’s second spell at Palace. Disappointing shadows of their former selves, who everybody feared and admired ten years ago but are now washed up and nobody really cares about watching any more.

Jose Mourinho’s sacking ruined my Christmas because it meant there’s a likelihood that they are going to turn it all around and work their way back up the table, but their demise was fun while it lasted and it would make my 2016 if we beat them this weekend.

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